omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
