i jhust puked up my retainher.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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