went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I intend to get homeless drunk
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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