just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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