the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
