There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
