Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
