you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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