I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
