bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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