Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
