Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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