every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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