so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
