The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
