Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
