matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
