"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
