If i come over, it means nothing
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
