a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I see more hoeing in ur future
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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