just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
