D3 body, D1 cock
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
