id be glad to
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
