i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
