I want to make a zoo with you.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
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