I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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