dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Damn victory sex feels great
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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