suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
