He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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