Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
