Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
