It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
