a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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