she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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