I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
