he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
