How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
