These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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