so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
