So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
