despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
