I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Will exercising make me less horny?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
