The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
