My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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