don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
