The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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