and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
