so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
