Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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