A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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