I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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